Adoption - Your stories
Find out more about Diana's journey towards becoming a single adoptive parent and Joel and Erin's story about their adoption of a sibling pair.
Diana is a single adoptive parent who was in her late 40s when she started the adoption process. Diana was keen to adopt a young child, but understood our policy for a maximum of a 45 year age gap between the adopter and the child as being "sensible and in the interests of the child".
Once Diane registered with us, she attended an Adoption Exchange Day which enabled Diana to find out more about the children requiring adoption and establish which children may be a suitable match with her. Diana found she was drawn towards a particular older child and, following all the relevant information being shared, their formal match was agreed. Diana was surprised that she felt drawn towards a child who was over 7 years old, especially since she was initially seeking to adopt a younger child.
Diana is keen to advise prospective adoptive parents to "be patient" and acknowledged that "it is really hard to desperately want to be a parent but to feel out of control and not able to see the light at the end of the tunnel".
Both Diana and her daughter have benefited from Adoption - Diana has experienced positive outcomes of becoming a parent and experiencing the changes and progress made by her daughter's developing confidence and involvement in various groups and clubs.
Adopting a child could change their life and yours.
Joel and Erin's story
We welcomed a brother and sister sibling pair into our home three years ago. They were 2 and 4 years old when our family started and are now 5 and 7.
Eight short weeks after we were approved as adoptive parents we were told about these cute little kids who were needing adoptive parents. We were given written information about them then met their foster carer and talked about them a lot with our Social Worker. We know the match was fantastic from the start. Things moved quickly and 6 weeks after hearing about them we met them for the first time, a day we will never forget. Over the following week we got to know them, hug them, look after them, play with them, bathe them and put them to bed. Each day we went to visit we took back a car load of their toys and clothes for their new bedrooms in their new house. They moved in with us about a week after first meeting us and we've never looked back.
Although it only took 4 months from adoption approval to placement, the legal adoption process took over 2 years and was a long, difficult and stressful process. The children did have direct contact with their birth mother during the early stages of the process before the decision was made that this be terminated. With the support of Social Services we advocated for our children in this decision. We continue to provide yearly information exchange with the birth parents through formal processes. The children have an older sibling, placed separately but we all meet up regularly and the 2 families will always be in touch with each other. While there were further delays in the Court process, the children were safe and happy which just left the grown ups to do the waiting and the worrying that it might fall through - it didn't! The official adoption day in court was an exciting and memorable occasion.
Although getting the adoption officially granted made little difference in our day to day family life it was a huge relief to finally have it in place. The kids got new birth certificates, their last names were changed at school and nursery, they got passports and we went abroad on holiday to celebrate. We bonded from the moment we met and the children have attached to us very well, though it did take the youngest about 6 months to attach to both of us equally. Our lives are full of affection and love for each other, we are very fortunate. Life can sometimes be complicated, but we are delighted with our family and wouldn't have it any other way. Adoption has been such a positive experience for all four of us. We would recommend it and would encourage anyone considering it to persevere with the process, it's all worth it.
The Adoption service acknowledge that typically the process can be longer from post approval to matching. The changes in legislation and the use of Scotland's Adoption Register, Adoption Exchange days and Activity days have all helped in maximising the opportunities for children to be placed in their adoptive families.
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